When Solo Parent Federation President Josie Aguilar got the invite to attend the Inner Conditioning Workshop (ICW) in Bulacan, her initial thought was: “Oh, this must be another training for solo parents or persons with disabilities (PWDs).” With her plate already overflowing with tasks as an MSWDO focal person, she didn’t ask too many questions. She said yes, packed her bags, and hopped on the ride—thinking it would be just another tick on her to-do list. Little did she know, she was about to embark on a journey that would make her question everything, including her programmed self.

 

She returned to re-read it, writing it down in her notebook. “I realized nga daw subong garden ang kabuhi ko—may weeds, may unsightly patches. But with the right landscaping, it could be beautiful. It’s up to me kung paano ko ini padayunon.” (I realized that my life feels like a garden right now—there are weeds and unsightly patches. But with the right landscaping, it could be beautiful. It’s up to me how I choose to move forward.)

As she walked further, she noticed the fresh air, the sound of water, and the vibrant greenery around her. For the first time in a long while, Josie felt present. She wasn’t worrying about deadlines or reports. She was there.

The Lakaran Epiphany

On Day 2, the group embarked on a Lakaran activity, which Josie initially thought was a simple nature walk. “Tani nagdala ko hiking boots!” (I should have brought hiking boots!) she joked. But as she moved from one signage to the next, the questions written on them forced her to pause and reflect. One particular sign about “landscaping your life” hit her like a ton of bricks.

Lesson 1: Always Read the Fine Print

 

Josie admitted that she had no clue what she had signed up for. “Inner Conditioning Workshop? Ano na ni? Workshop ni, daw Bible study na may halong science?” (Inner Conditioning Workshop? What’s this now? It’s a workshop, but it feels like a Bible study mixed with science?) She chuckled, recalling her initial reaction on Day 1. The sessions were long, deep, and somewhat intimidating at first. She sat there wondering, “What does this have to do with solo parents or PWDs?”

But as the evening rolled in, something clicked. Perlas introduced the concept of the programmed self versus the authentic self, and Josie found herself reflecting. She realized she had spent so much of her life in “programmed mode,” always striving for perfect accomplishments, always reacting to the pressures of her job. She thought to herself, “Amu bala ini ang Josie nga gusto ko kilalahan? (Is this the Josie I want to get to know?)Or is there someone else buried under all these expectations?”

Lesson 2: Heart Breathing is Life

Josie confessed that her stress levels as an MSWDO focal person were off the charts before ICW. “Sa opisina ko, pirmi ko daw mala-lion king kay kadamo-damo sang obra.” (In my office, I always feel like I’m in The Lion King because there’s so much work to do.) But one of the most valuable tools she learned from the workshop was heart breathing.

“I tried it in the office one day, mid-encoding. Ginpunggan ko anay ang stress kag ang pressure. I closed my eyes, visualized my heart breathing, and told myself, ‘This isn’t the path I want. Let’s try something different.’” (I tried it in the office one day, in the middle of encoding. I paused the stress and pressure for a moment. I closed my eyes, visualized my heart breathing, and told myself, ‘This isn’t the path I want. Let’s try something different.)

The result? A calmer Josie, one who smiles more and scowls less. Her colleagues even noticed the change. “Gakinosmod na siya sang una; subong, smiling na! Miracle ni?” (She used to be so grumpy before; now, he’s smiling! Is this a miracle?)

Lesson 3: It’s Okay Not to Be Perfect

 

One of the biggest takeaways for Josie was learning to let go of the pressure to deliver perfect results every single time. “Ako ya, sa una, gusto ko tanan perfecto. Pero subong, gina-embrace ko nga okay lang makasala basta ma-learn ka.” (Me, before, I wanted everything to be perfect. But now, I embrace that it’s okay to make mistakes as long as you learn from them.)

 

This shift in mindset was liberating. She began approaching her work with more intention, focusing on what truly mattered instead of ticking off boxes in her program self.

Closing Reflections: From Stress to Gratitude

Looking back, Josie sees the ICW as nothing short of transformative. She’s not just a better leader for solo parents and PWDs but also a better version of herself.

“Honestly, it was an eye-opener. Ang workshop daw daw gin-laslas ang mata ko to see what I’ve been missing. It’s not perfect yet, pero I’m getting there. Sir Nick, you’re amazing. Ma’am Angelic, thank you gid for inviting me. To SEA Inc. and my ICW family, salamat gid for the experience.” (Honestly, it was an eye-opener. The workshop felt like it opened my eyes to what I’ve been missing. It’s not perfect yet, but I’m getting there. Sir Nick, you’re amazing. Ma’am Angelic, thank you so much for inviting me. To SEA Inc. and my ICW family, thank you so much for the experience.)

Josie ended her reflection with a simple realization:

 

“Sometimes, ang kabuhi, daw traffic—chaotic, messy, stress-inducing. But with heart breathing and authenticity, you can find your inner traffic enforcer. And guess what? That enforcer is you.” (Sometimes, life feels like traffic—chaotic, messy, and stress-inducing. But with heart breathing and authenticity, you can find your inner traffic enforcer. And guess what? That enforcer is you.)

And with that, Josie Aguilar stepped out of the workshop not just as a federation president but as a woman embracing her authentic self, ready to landscape her life one step at a time.