They say that growth isn’t linear. Sometimes, it feels like climbing a mountain, reaching the peak, only to find yourself slipping back down again. For Ivan, a young man from Barangay Cabilaun, New Lucena, attending the Inner Conditioning Workshop (ICW) for the first time was like standing at the edge of something unknown—hopeful, hesitant, and maybe somewhat skeptical.

Ivan had been struggling emotionally, so much so that his mother saw the ICW as a lifeline for him. He attended, sat through the sessions, listened, and reflected. And for a time, he felt change take root.

“My reflection on ICW that I attended last year was, yes, it helps me in some aspects, but I do feel like I’m back to my old program self, and I failed to apply what I have learned there,” Ivan shared, his honesty as raw as his struggle.

This is the paradox of transformation—it isn’t instant, and it certainly isn’t permanent unless cultivated. Like a seed planted in fertile soil, growth requires constant nurturing. The challenge? Life’s relentless distractions often pull us back to the same patterns we so desperately want to break.

But change did happen for Ivan, in ways that even he didn’t expect.

“It does change my beliefs because before, I doubted if there was a God,” he admitted. “By attending that and what I have observed, I do think now that there is a God. Because before that, I felt like I was an atheist, you know? I’m thinking, why be born and suffer just to die?”

Questions of existence, pain, and purpose have tormented minds for years. Yet in that workshop, something shifted in him. Faith, perhaps. Or at least the willingness to believe that there is more to life than just suffering.

Beyond faith, the workshop also instilled in him the value of understanding. “The ICW workshop helps me to become a more understanding person by respecting everyone’s perspective,” Ivan noted. And yet, even with this newfound awareness, he finds himself lost. “I do feel I’m lost because I’m back to my old program self. I’m trying to be better but still can’t, and it sucks.”

But here’s the truth: No one emerges from any experience completely and permanently transformed. Change is a cycle of learning, unlearning, and relearning. Some days, we feel like we’ve conquered our demons; other days, they come knocking again. The key is not to give up.

The Inner Conditioning Workshop is one of the many steps that SEA Inc. provides under the IPAT-SIAD program, a framework designed not just for the long-time members of the community but also for the youth—individuals like Ivan who are still navigating their way through life. It emphasizes sustainable development, not just in livelihoods but in the well-being of young minds who will shape the future.

For Ivan and many others like him, the road to self-discovery and betterment is ongoing. ICW might not have completely reprogrammed his mindset overnight, but it planted seeds of faith, understanding, and resilience.

So to Ivan, and to anyone feeling like they’ve taken two steps forward only to fall three steps back—keep going. The fact that you recognize your struggle means you’re aware, and awareness is the first step toward lasting change.

As the saying goes, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Ivan has already taken his. And though he may stumble along the way, the road to growth is still open, waiting for him to walk it once more.